DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
