Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
