Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
