you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
