after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
