WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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