I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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