these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
