Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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