I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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