It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
