i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
