the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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