just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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