i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
