He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
