I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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