The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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