dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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