turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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