I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
