have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
