I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
