kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My penis needs a shock collar
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
