first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize