Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
