God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Found your dick twin last night
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
