Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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