She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
