3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
