I bet he comes in French.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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