she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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