I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
