she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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