just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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