a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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