Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why is there bacon in the couch?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
