so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
