I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The Olympian is in my bed
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
