Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
