one might say we're banned from that church
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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