So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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