You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We are all done wearing pants today
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
