just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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