Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
