Ambien. No doubt about it.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
