She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
