I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
