well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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