Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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