on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
