This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
