You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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