I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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