To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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