I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
