break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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