thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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