I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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