how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
