White coat. Heels.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm at about main and main street
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
