As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize